Dear Reader, I feel I should introduce myself. My name is Elsa. No, not after the ‘Frozen’ character (though she is rather pretty……..), but after the orphaned lion cub that was raised by humans . It was MrsB’s favourite book as a child and she still has her rather tatty copy on our bookshelves. Not that I am anything like a lion cub as I am canine, not feline, but a similar colour – if a little lighter – and far more attractive. You see I am a golden retriever dog, but on the less golden end of the spectrum. I should probably be described as a ‘cream retriever dog’ (not sure my breeders would agree with that though). I’m not even sure about the ‘retriever’ bit of my name as I’m not that good at retrieving things. I’ll go and get something when it suits me but I’m not bringing it back to anyone (unless I want to that is). I am still very young, being only 2 years old, but I am learning fast. I have been with Mrs B since an 8 week old puppy. She used to work part time and on the longer days ‘Jo’ would take me out for a walk, but now she seems to be home all day – what’s going on??
I’ve heard her and MrB talking about retirement but he still leaves the house after breakfast and comes home after I’ve had my tea, so it must just be just her retiring. I have to say she doesn’t look old enough to me so I think she must be retiring early. She always claimed she loved her job but just lately I’ve heard her moaning about lack of time, pressure of work, frustrations of the NHS. NHS? I never did get what that meant – ’No Horse Shit? (she hates me eating that), ‘No Hind legs on Sofa’? – wouldn’t dream of it! I put my front paws up and somehow the back ones follow – must be a reflex thing. Anyway, whatever the N. H. S means – she’s fed up with it so I’d better be careful.
A couple of weeks ago she came home very late after a night out, wobbling on her high heels and carrying 2 huge and colourful floaty, shiny things that reached up to the ceiling. I was terrified! I’ve not seen those before so I barked and barked and barked at them. Mr and MrsB just laughed and told me to be quiet. It was late and they had woken me up coming home late so I crept back to bed, keeping half an eye on the floaty things. I must have dropped off again but I awoke in the night and…..there they were! They were moving slowly from side to side and staring down at me from the ceiling. My heart was racing and I barked and barked as loud as I could until MrB came downstairs and told me to shut up. I just kept barking at those scary monsters and he got the message and moved them out of the kitchen to the dining room. I made a mental note to self to not set foot in the dining room tomorrow as they would be in there
But the cake was good. She had come home that night with the remaining half of an iced cake and as she deposited it on the kitchen surface a chunk of icing fell onto the floor. Well…….I know she likes to keep the floor clean and I often help her by licking it, so I helped her that night too by ‘hoovering’ it up. It was lip smackingingly good. I never saw that cake again, I wasn’t given a look in so I’m glad she dropped some that night.
The next day was the weekend and business as usual with long walks on our usual routes. After the weekend I was expecting my friend Jo to collect me for my usual walk with my mates but she didn’t come! MrsB took me – same walks but without my mates. Is this what retirement will be like? Don’t get me wrong, I love her to bits but I love going out with Jo and the gang – they’re my bezzie mates. There’s Flossie the (slightly scary) terrier, Sam the black lab and Boss the mixed up looking tall brown one. We have such a laugh tearing along the country lanes and across the fields. Sam and I have a race to every available bit of water we can find, to see who can get in first. Flossie and Boss just stand and watch us – they don’t like getting their feet wet (a couple of wooses I think). Poor Jo has to dry us with a towel from that endless supply she keeps in the back of her van. She then drives us all back to our respective homes and we all secretly hope that we are the last one to be dropped off as it gives us more time with our mates. But what now? No more Jo if MrsB is at home all day?